How to Manipulate People to Do What You Want Without Abandoning Your Ethics [Dark Side]

Manipulation is generally a bad skill to use to get what you want, but sometimes it's justifiable when you have a noble cause. Perhaps you're trying to get someone to live a healthier lifestyle or enjoy an activity with you. When other tactics fail you and it's time to resort to a little manipulative behavior, here are some tricks you can use to get what you want without being completely abandoning your ethics.

Title image remixed from originals by Lorelyn Medina (Shutterstock).

Nobody enjoys being tricked, so you don't want to use anything you learn in this post for evil purposes. Most of what we're going to discuss is simply a matter of creating a scenario where it's more likely that whoever you're trying to manipulate will be happier and enjoy themselves more. This isn't about simply getting what you want, but creating a positive experience for the manipulator and the manipulatee. Rather than dive into many possible situations, we're just going to use one scenario as an example: getting a friend (or whomever) to join you on an activity and have a good time. That said, these same tricks can be repurposed for other situations as well. We just want to keep it simple. All you need to follow are two steps.

Step One: Convince Your Friend to Do the Thing They Don't Want to Do

It's nice when you have someone with whom you can share an activity. The problem is, you may love interpretive sculpting but will have a hard time selling your friends on the joy it can provide. Fortunately, most people can come around under the right circumstances. You probably thought you'd absolutely hate the butt pinching festival last Spring but, as things turned out, you're going back for the fifth time with hopes of taking home a blue ribbon. In all seriousness, what we end up liking is often a matter of circumstance. If you want your friend to partake in something you enjoy, they'll be more likely to join in under the right conditions.

First things first, you have to get your friend to go with you. Rather than trying to convince them that they'll want to join you, as that will cause them to naturally come up with counterarguments, ask them to join you as a favor. As Ben Franklin discovered and David McRaney, of the blog You Are Not So Smart, highlighted, doing something nice for another person can get you to like them more (rather than the other way around):

[Ben] Franklin set out to turn [a] hater into a fan, but he wanted to do it without "paying any servile respect to him." Franklin's reputation as a book collector and library founder gave him a reputation as a man of discerning literary tastes, so Franklin sent a letter to the hater asking if he could borrow a selection from the his library, one which was a "very scarce and curious book." The rival, flattered, sent it right away. Franklin sent it back a week later with a thank you note. Mission accomplished.

This works because although we think that we do nice things for people because we like them, our brains tend to process things the other way around. The reality is that we tend to like someone because we did something nice for them. If your friend sees this activity as a favor, they'll feel better about you than they will if you're trying to drag them along.

Step Two: Make Your Friend Have Fun

How can you ensure your friend will enjoy the activity? You can't, but you can increase the odds. Let's take a look at a few ways you can do just that.

Handle Challenges Together

First, it can help if there's anything remotely challenging about that activity. If there is, do it with them and it can become a bonding experience. Even if they didn't enjoy the activity, they'll look back on it fondly, later, because it brought you both closer together.

Choose a Familiar and Comfortable Environment

It can help if the activity will surround the person with familiar things and the kinds of people they like. While we like to believe we're open to new possibilities and respect the differences in others, we really don't. If you want to get someone to like something different, it helps if you can make them feel comfortable in as many other ways as possible.

Photo by genvessel.

Boost Your Friend's Mood

Finally, get them in a good mood beforehand. This may seem difficult, especially if the person in question is an awful and negative person that you've somehow managed to love, but it's easier than you think. As noted in our brain hacking guide, there are a few simple ways to prime a person's brain to have the right attitude for a given situation. While there are little things you can do like reciting a list of positive words, that's kind of a weird thing to do in the company of others. Instead, you can use your enthusiasm to put them in a better mindset. Making them laugh is one of the best options, but if you're not naturally funny and afraid to break out the tickler, frequent smiling can do the trick. Next time you see someone smile, notice how you're probably smiling in return. It's hard not to mirror happy expressions because it often happens without our full awareness. Little things like smiling and humor can go a long way, even when they're completely unrelated to the given activity.

Reward Your Friend's Competency with Compliments

And don't forget the compliments. If the given activity requires your tag-a-long activity buddy to do or create anything, let them know you think they're doing a great job once they've finished. People tend to like things more when their efforts are rewarded in ways that highlight their competence. You don't want to outright lie, but something like "wow, you're picking this up quicker than I expected" can make a big difference in your friend's perception of the activity.

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If you've got any other tips for getting your friends to do what you want while maintaining a positive experience for both of you, let us know in the comments!

Source: http://feeds.gawker.com/~r/lifehacker/full/~3/AUYhCnmcYIY/how-to-manipulate-people-to-do-what-you-want-without-abandoning-your-ethics

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Death of Florida A&M drum major ruled a homicide (AP)

ORLANDO, Fla. ? A Florida A&M University drum major was severely beaten in a hazing incident and died within an hour, the state medical examiner said Friday in declaring it a homicide.

Robert Champion, 26, had bruises to his chest, arms, shoulder and back and internal bleeding that caused him to go into shock, which killed him, the office said.

Champion's Nov. 19 death and the severe beating of another band member during a hazing ritual three weeks earlier have brought new scrutiny to a culture of hazing within the Tallahassee school's famed Marching 100.

State and local authorities are investigating Champion's death. Any death involving hazing is a third-degree felony in Florida, but so far no charges have been filed. Three male band members were arrested in a separate probe into the recent beating of a female member whose thigh bone was broken.

Witnesses told 911 that Champion was vomiting before he was found unresponsive aboard a band bus outside an Orlando hotel after the school's football team lost to rival Bethune-Cookman.

The report by Dr. Sara Irrgang described Champion as "previously healthy" showing "no evidence of natural disease" except for a slightly enlarged heart. Immediately after the hazing, Champion complained of thirst and fatigue, then loss of vision and signs of shock, the report said.

The toxicology report was negative for drugs and alcohol and there was no injury to the internal organs.

Champion's father, Robert Champion Sr., said he knew his son had been hazed.

"We just need to figure out what we need to do now to get the hazing under control," Champion told The Associated Press from his home in suburban Atlanta.

The family's attorney, Christopher Chestnut, said the autopsy confirmed the family's worst fears: "Justice needs to be swift and immediate."

"We're not calling for dismantling of the band," he said. "There needs to be high-level scrutiny. The students are adults, but they're young adults."

Champion's name was repeatedly invoked during FAMU's winter graduation ceremony Friday by Narayan Prasad, a faculty and board member. He called on graduates to be "Champion Rattlers" and to help ensure that hazing never happens again.

Larry Robinson, assistant secretary of commerce in the Obama administration, acknowledged Champion in his commencement speech. He said there were "dark clouds in our midst" but he predicted the university would overcome the scrutiny and survive.

"The world is watching. Let them see, let them hear the real FAMU. Let them know we have been here 124 years and we plan to be here another and yet another."

News of the autopsy came soon after Gov. Rick Scott met privately with FAMU President James Ammons to discuss whether he should step down.

Ammons was reprimanded by the school's Board of Trustees, but the governor says he thinks Ammons should be suspended until multiple investigations are complete.

FAMU's president does not report directly to the governor. But the governor is responsible for selecting some of those who serve on the FAMU board of trustees. The governor also appoints most of the people who sit on the board of governors that oversees the State University System.

A couple hundred FAMU students protested late Thursday night outside the Governor's Mansion to show their support for Ammons. Scott eventually came outside and talked to them, but he did not back off seeking a suspension.

Ammons said he and the governor had a "great discussion" and he was considering the request.

"We all have the best interests of Florida A&M University at heart, we are going to do what's best for university," Ammons said.

A new wrinkle comes from the Southern Association of Colleges and Schools Commission on Colleges, which has warned that Scott's push to suspend Ammons could affect the school's accreditation because of "undue influence" on the board from outside.

Separately, a group of black Tallahassee ministers formed a task force charged with battling hazing at all historically black colleges and universities. Student leaders at FAMU have launched an initiative to encourage every student on campus to sign an anti-hazing agreement; clubs and organizations that don't sign risk being sanctioned by student government.

Hazing cases in marching bands have cropped up over the years, particularly at historically black colleges, where a spot in the marching band is coveted and the bands are revered almost as much as the sports teams. In 2008, two first-year French horn players in Southern University's marching band had to be hospitalized after a beating. A year later, 20 members of Jackson State University's band were suspended after being accused of hazing.

In 2001, FAMU band member Marcus Parker suffered kidney damage because of a beating with a paddle. Three years earlier, Ivery Luckey, a clarinet player from Ocala, Fla., said he was paddled around 300 times, sending him to the hospital and leaving him physically and emotionally scarred.

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Fineout reported from Tallahassee, Fla. Associated Press Writer Leonard Pallats in Atlanta contributed to this report.

Source: http://us.rd.yahoo.com/dailynews/rss/us/*http%3A//news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20111216/ap_on_re_us/us_famu_student_dead

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Stock market decline takes shine off 2011 IPOs (AP)

NEW YORK ? This was supposed to be the year that the IPO market fully recovered from the financial crisis, as the economy and global stock markets healed.

Six months into 2011, the market for initial public offerings was stronger than it had been since before the recession. The number of deals seemed on pace for a decade high. IPOs shares were, on average, in the black.

After a strong start, the market for new stock offerings fizzled in 2011 as the prospect of a global slowdown and a prolonged European debt crisis battered financial markets. High-profile Internet companies like Groupon, LinkedIn and Zynga, which went public Friday, attracted attention. But overall, companies didn't raise as much as they hoped for through IPOs. Main Street investors, who generally don't have access to IPO shares until after they start trading, were likely the biggest losers.

Many companies had to cancel their debuts, delaying paydays for their early investors. More companies withdrew their IPO plans than have since 2008, the depths of the recession, according to IPO investment firm Renaissance Capital.

IPOs that went public this year, as a group, lost 13 percent of their value ? the first negative return since 2008. And about two-thirds of companies that went public this year are trading below their offering price, according to advisory firm IPO Boutique.

"The only way to have played the game this year ? the way I always play it ? is to have flipped on day one. Take your profit and move on. People who haven't have been decimated," said long-time IPO investor Scott Sweet, who owns IPO Boutique.

This week, the last before the IPO market shuts down for the year, spotlights 2011 trends. Twelve companies had lined up IPOs, which would have been the busiest week since November 2007. That didn't happen.

Business social network Jive Software Inc. and luxury retailer Michael Kors Holdings Ltd. priced high, sold more shares than expected, and soared on day one. Retail companies like Michael Kors and Dunkin' Donuts parent Dunkin' Brands Group Inc. were popular with investors this year, as well as tech companies.

Facebook games maker Zynga Inc. raised $1 billion Thursday night, in the biggest Internet IPO since Google's 2004 launch. That valued it at $7 billion. But when the company filed to go public in July, market watchers thought the company had potential for a valuation of $20 billion or more.

On Friday, shares closed down xx percent.

Of the other nine companies slated for the week, three delayed their debuts. Six raised less money than they'd expected. Two of those are already more than 15 percent below their IPO price, giving investors a loss.

Other high-profile tech companies that went public this year have slid from their first-day pops. Jobs networking site LinkedIn more than doubled in its debut. While it's still up about 50 percent from its initial price, shares have lost 30 percent from the first trading day. Investors who bought in the first day after trading began have likely lost money.

It's a common story:

? In its January debut, online content company Demand Media Inc. rose 33 percent. It's since dropped 70 percent.

? May: Yandex NV, the Google of Russia, popped 55 percent. It is down 54 percent since.

? June: Internet radio company Pandora Media Inc. rose 9 percent. It has dropped 40 percent since.

? July: Real estate listings website Zillow Inc. rose 79 percent, but has fallen 34 percent since.

? November: Groupon Inc. rose 31 percent, but has dropped 14 percent since then.

Technology companies that went public in the past 12 months, overall, are down 13 percent, according to Renaissance Capital. Part of that stems from broader market declines. The Standard & Poor's 500 index is down about 8 percent from the end of June.

Daniel Graeber, a journalist and professor from Grand Rapids, Mich., bought 15 shares of Groupon for $30 each the day it went public, hoping the deals company would be the next Google Inc. or Amazon.com Inc. Graeber, 38, has lost money so far, but says he's modestly optimistic that shares will recover. And despite his loss and general market doldrums, he says he's intrigued by Facebook.

Market watchers expect more big tech deals next year: Facebook, local reviews site Yelp and online retailer Gilt Groupe. Of the three, only Yelp has filed to go public.

Another IPO bright spot, foreign companies, has faltered. Chinese companies made up more than a quarter of U.S. IPOs in 2010 and led foreign deals in the first half of the year. But those deals have disappeared amid reports of probes by U.S. regulators and a slowdown in the Chinese economy. Online video company Tudou Holdings Ltd. was the last Chinese company to go public in the U.S. in August. Shares are off 60 percent.

The global economic uncertainty and poor returns throughout the IPO market may also mean less cash for the 200 companies hoping to go public in 2012.

"They want to get the company public, they'll do a smaller deal," said Frank Maturo, head of Americas cash equity capital markets at Bank of America Merrill Lynch.

LinkedIn and Groupon sold less than 10 percent of their outstanding stock in their IPOs, which is considered a small percent of overall stock to put up for sale in an offering. The small supply helps boost demand for IPO shares.

The IPO declines and weak stock markets may create an opportunity for investors to buy shares more cheaply as companies and bankers rethink prices for shares.

"People haven't made money in the IPO market, people are skeptical. But deals can get done if they get priced right," said IPO analyst Francis Gaskins of IPOdesktop.

Source: http://us.rd.yahoo.com/dailynews/rss/economy/*http%3A//news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20111216/ap_on_bi_ge/us_ipo_year

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Battle Your Facebook Friends, Netflix Gets Purdy, Learn the Geetar, and Run Down Hookers on Your iPad [Ipad Apps Of The Week]

Remember the first time you played Grand Theft Auto III? You could go anywhere! You could beat up the cops, start a riot, shoot dock workers. It was like running around inside Quentin Tarantino's head. Now all that magic is on iOS, and dammit I couldn't be more excited. Plus, take out your annoying Facebook friends, learn how to rock, and check out the clutter-free new Netflix app.

More »

Source: http://feeds.gawker.com/~r/gizmodo/full/~3/FrzadyOEGKY/

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China exporters face "very severe" Q1 2012: Commerce Ministry (Reuters)

BEIJING (Reuters) ? China's exporters will face "very severe" conditions in the first quarter of 2012, the Commerce Ministry said on Thursday, with Europe's debt crisis dragging on and dampening demand.

"The overall trade environment next year for China will be complicated, partly due to the economic uncertainties in the European countries, and I should say that the export situation in the first quarter of next year will be very severe," Commerce Ministry spokesman Shen Danyang told a news conference.

Growth in Chinese exports and imports slowed in November, fresh evidence of faltering demand abroad and at home that is pushing Beijing towards a more explicit pro-growth policy stance, according to data published on December 10.

Customs data showed exports at their most sluggish in two years -- stripping out the volatile month of February.

(Reporting by Aileen Wang and Nick Edwards; Editing by Ken Wills)

Source: http://us.rd.yahoo.com/dailynews/rss/asia/*http%3A//news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20111215/bs_nm/us_china_economy_trade

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Exclusive: Man faces $26K bond on 'DUI'

By Anna Chan

Driving under the influence doesn't have to involve alcohol, but the legal consequences can be just as serious, as TLC's "DUI" reveals.

On Thursday's midseason finale, a 25-year-old man named Casey was stopped at a DUI checkpoint during the July 4 weekend in Tulsa, Okla., after police smelled marijuana, and the situation became more serious when a big discovery was made.

Trooper Shiloh Hall first pulls out a smallish?baggy of Mary Jane. Then, with a triumphant "Yeees!" Hall reveals a plastic grocery bag full of weed. "Couple pounds.?He's gonna be arrested for intent," Hall explained. (It was two pounds, to be exact.)?But that wasn't all the trooper found in the vehicle. Hall then started counting out a stash of cash on the hood.

After being arrested, Casey decided to throw some attitude as well. "You're a pig! All y'all are pigs!" the construction worker told the trooper. Check it out:

His trouble didn't end there. In an exclusive clip TLC shared with msnbc.com, a seemingly calmer Casey realized just how much trouble he was?in legally ... and financially.

"You have four felonies," a police officer told the 25-year-old. "Your total bond is $26,000."

"I'm worried about my future," a depressed Casey admitted. "I'm a felon now." See what else he had to say about his?legal and personal troubles?in this exclusive clip:

The midseason finale of "DUI" airs on Thursday at 9 p.m. on TLC.

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Source: http://entertainment.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2011/12/14/9447469-exclusive-man-faces-huge-bond-for-driving-with-a-lot-of-weed-on-dui

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Watch Winding Entertainment Center Is a Monolith Of Excess [Luxury]

This is either the world's most opulent watch winder, or the most over-accessorized media center. Either way, the Gigantis is targeted squarely at those who only care about showing off their lavish lifestyle. More »

Source: http://feeds.gawker.com/~r/gizmodo/full/~3/3zrastnCMEI/watch-winding-entertainment-center-is-a-monolith-of-excess

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