GUARDIAN.CO.UK - FEB 7 - Online dating is now one of the most common ways to start a relationship. Jean-Claude Kaufmann in his new book Love Online reflects on what has happened to romantic relationships since the millennium. The landscape of dating has changed completely, he argues. We used to have yentas or parents to help us get married; now we have to fend for ourselves. Love isn't an eternal given ? it evolves with societies." Behavioural economist Dan Ariely is researching online dating because it affects to offer a solution for a market that wasn't working very well. Oxford evolutionary anthropologist Robin Dunbar will soon publish a book called The Science of Love and Betrayal, in which he wonders whether science can helps us with our romantic relationships. And one of France's greatest living philosophers, Alain Badiou, is poised to publish In Praise of Love, in which he argues that online dating sites destroy our most cherished romantic ideal, namely love. Online dating is, Ariely argues, unremittingly miserable. It turns out people are much more like wine. When you taste the wine, you could describe it, but it's not a very useful description. But you know if you like it or don't. Kaufmann argues that in the new world online dating the overwhelming idea is to have short, sharp engagements that involve minimal commitment and maximal pleasure. After a while, Kaufmann has found, those who use online dating sites become disillusioned. Everywhere on dating sites, Kaufmann finds people upset by the unsatisfactorily chilly sex dates that they have brokered. He also comes across online addicts who can't move from digital flirting to real dates. The disappointing experience of online dating is partly explained because we want conflicting things from it: love and sex, freedom and commitment, guilt-free sex without emotional entanglements and a tender cuddle.
by Stuart Jeffries
See full article at Guardian.co.uk
Source: http://www.onlinepersonalswatch.com/news/2012/02/is-online-dating-destroying-love.html
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